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Georgia Chapter |
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Musings of an unknown
Helicopter Pilot
Anything that screws its way into the
sky flies according to unnatural
principals.
There are no old helicopters laying
around airports like you see old
Airplanes. There is a
reason for this. Come to think of it, there are not
many old high-time helicopter pilots hanging around airports either
so the
first issue is problematic.
You can always tell a helicopter pilot
in anything moving, a train, an
airplane, a car or a
boat. They never smile, they are always listening to
the machine and they always hear something they think is not
right.
Helicopter pilots fly in a mode of
intensity, actually more like "spring
loaded", while
waiting for pieces of their ship to fall off.
Flying a helicopter at any altitude
over 500 feet is considered reckless
and
should be avoided. Flying a helicopter at any altitude or condition
that
precludes a landing in less than 20 seconds is
considered outright
foolhardy.
Remember in a helicopter you have
about 1 second to lower the collective in
an engine
failure before it becomes unrecoverable. Once you've failed this
maneuver the machine flies about as well as a 20 case
Coke machine. Even a
perfectly executed autorotation
only gives you a glide ratio slightly
better
than that of a brick. 180 degree autorotations are a
violent and aerobatic
maneuver in my opinion and
should be avoided.
When your wings are leading, lagging,
flapping, precessing and moving
faster
than your fuselage there's something unnatural going on. Is this
the way
men
were meant to
fly?
While hovering, if you start to sink a
bit, you pull up on the collective w
hile wisting
the throttle, push with your left foot (more torque) and
move
the stick left (more translating tendency)
to hold your spot. If you now
need to stop rising, you
do the opposite in that order. Sometimes in wind
you
do this many times each second. Don't you think that's a strange way to
fly?
For Helicopters: You never want to
feel a sinking feeling in your gut (low
"g" pushover)
while flying a two bladed under slung teetering rotor system.
You are about to do a snap-roll to the right and
crash. For that matter,
any
remotely aerobatic maneuver should be avoided in a Huey. Don't push
your
luck. It will run out soon enough
anyway.
If everything is working fine on your
helicopter consider yourself
temporarily lucky.
Something is about to break.
Way back while I was flying Huey
gunships in Vietnam, Harry Reasoner wrote
the
following about helicopter pilots: "The thing is, helicopters are
different from planes. An airplane by its nature wants
to fly, and if not
interfered with too strongly
by unusual events or by a deliberately
incompetent
pilot, it will fly. A helicopter does not want to fly. It is
maintained in the air by a variety of forces and controls working
in
opposition to each other, and if there is any
disturbance in this delicate
balance the helicopter
stops flying; immediately and disastrously.
There is no such thing as a gliding
helicopter.
"This is why being a helicopter pilot
is so different from being an
airplane
pilot, and why in generality, airplane pilots are open, clear-eyed,
buoyant
extroverts and helicopter pilots are brooding
introspective anticipators of
trouble.
They know if something bad has not
happened it is about to. "
Having said all this,
I will also tell you that flying in a helicopter is
one of the most satisfying and exhilarating experiences I have ever
enjoyed.
What I miss most is skimming over the
trees at 100 knots + in a light
observation
helicopter.
And remember the fighter pilot's
prayer:
"Lord I pray for the eyes of an eagle,
the heart of a lion and the balls of
a combat
helicopter pilot."
Many years later I know that it was
sometimes anything but fun, but now it is
something to
brag about for those of us who survived the experience.
Basic Helicopter Flying
Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the
air.
2. Do not go near the edges of
it.
3. The edges of the air can be
recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings,
sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to
fly there.
By: Unknown
You never want to sneak up behind an old high-time
helicopter pilot and
clap
your
hands. He will instantly dive for cover and most likely whimper...then
get up smack you.